What if I told you your tears hadn't been ignored?

Love this. Love her.

Coz it's a good night to be out there soaking out the moonlight...

So, here's the news of today.

I got my licence. Yay.



It felt so weird to get in the car and drive by myself, but, I decided I wanted to go somewhere, so I texted Anna (after telling her this afternoon that I would pop around in my car, hehehe) and she invited me up to their church for an activity they were having. It was a really fun night and I caught up with some good friends.

Anyway, beware on the roads! Haha.

Beep beep!

This makes all the difference, this changes everything.

I'm gonna sit on my floor tonight and go through the massive box I have of stuff that meant something once upon a time and maybe I've forgotten about the stuff and I wish I hadn't because somehwere along the way I forgot who I was and something Anna (hi Anna) said in a prayer last night really reminded me that it's so important that we don't forget that, but, you know, something also tells me that a box full of cards and music won't remind me as much as some kind of more intrinsic soul searching will, but maybe the looking at things I can see will have kind of a catalyst effect and I'll be in some frame of mind to figure this out.

That's an example of how things spin through my head and in my head I. never. take. a. breath.

Sometime soon, I'm gonna have to take a breath, in my head, and stop. I feel a little bit like I'm on a carousel and can't get off. I hate carousels. This sounds very dramatic. It's really not as bad as it seems but I've got a lot happening in this little head, and it's gotta stop soon before I drive myself crazy.

So, lets hope that I remember who I am sometime. Because once upon a time, I could walk through the wilderness and be tentative, but comfortable, honest with the forces that spun around me, and despite the dramas of a 16 year old kid, ridiculously content with my place in the world. Not so much, now. The things I knew back then are not the same anymore and I never even thought they'd be different.

Christ doesn't fail me. Christ doesn't fail anyone. But some people have failed me, and I have failed me, and I have failed people. So I have to get back to a point where I'm not disgusted by the lack of camraderie of God's children. And that's gonna take a while.

Before the cool done run out, I'll be giving it my bestest...

The other day, I was sitting with a few people down in the UniCaf (including Devin, who has been insisting that I mention him in my blog) (Hi Devin. Hi Anna. Hi Darcy.) talking about "oh, I remember when I was a kid, 2 dollars worth of chips would be heaps and plenty enough for lunch for five kids" Mum would send us (me, my brother and sister, and our two friends Angus and Conor) to the shops with $4.50 and we'd have enough for 2 dollars worth of chips and a can of drink each.

AM I REALLY OLD ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO COMPARE HOW MUCH I USED TO SPEND AT THE SHOP AS A KID WITH HOW MUCH WE SPEND NOW?

I feel like my parents. "20 cents used to buy us a big bag of lollies."

Heaven help me.

Anyway.

I worked all day at Hungry Jack's, so, it's my bed time.

Love.

Ain't nothin' like...

I spent Thursday night putting photos all over my room. I'm still not finished because I need more photos (so, if we're friends, you should probably send me some, you know. ;) Ha) but here is what I have so far.



I also did my cupboard doors. The left hand is Santa Cruz, California, and the right side is Wilmington, North Carolina. Wilmington is one of my favourite places I've ever been to. It's super beautiful. Anyway. West Coast to East Coast doors! I love it.



I'm also pretending like I don't have to move out of this room in three months!

I got my old speakers back from the house this weekend, which, I'm so pleased about, because, the music I'm listening to sounds awesome. This music is bananas. B-a-n-a-n-a-s.

Anyway. Be good.

Where I'm feeling an echo inside my chest...

First. Title comes from Strong Enough by Kina Grannis. Check her out on youtube or kinagrannis.com or myspace.com/kinagrannis. She is spectacular.

Also. I have uni for only 3 hours tomorrow. That's nice. Well, I actually have 4 hours, but, the ICT lecture is awful, and pointless, and I really could not be even a little bit bothered. I will sleep in instead. They don't take attendance and it's useless, so, why bother?

I had a dream last night that the guy I most affectionately refer to as my husband (Jason) was killed in a car accident. That was not a nice dream at all. I don't know if you could even call it a dream. And, I told him about the dream. He was offended that my subconcious killed him off. How awful! It wasn't my fault! Anyway. Don't know why I told that story.

I'm going again for my Ps on Friday the 22nd. I probably shouldn't tell anyone that, just incase I fail again, because I'd be really embarrassed. But, I'd sure appreciate the prayers! Besides, I'm going in Scottsdale, and there are no traffic lights or roundabouts or anything, so that should be okay! Wish me luck.

Be awesome.

Alison